20+ Years Experience | Fully Insured | Online Worldwide

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Performance anxiety is one of the most common — and most misunderstood — causes of sexual difficulty. It’s rarely about desire. It’s about pressure.

Once the mind begins to monitor, predict, or fear a repeat of a past setback, the nervous system can shift into fight/flight. That response can affect arousal, erection, sensation, and confidence — even with a caring partner.

This is a confidential, judgement-free space to break the cycle and restore calm, steady confidence.

Reduce pressure, rebuild confidence, and get out of your head and back into the moment

Sexual Performance Anxiety Hypnotherapy

  • Best for: performance anxiety, fear of failure, self-monitoring, confidence drops after a setback

  • Focus: calm nervous system, reduce mental pressure, rebuild trust in the body

  • Tools: Hypnotherapy + NLP + CBT-informed reframes + confidence anchoring

  • Format: Online or in-person (Clonee, Dublin 15)

  • Confidentiality: Strictly private

At a Glance:Key Details

A common pattern:

  • “I hope this goes well.”

  • Monitoring starts (checking sensations, timing, response).

  • Pressure rises → tension increases → confidence drops.

  • A setback happens (or fear of one takes over).

  • Shame or frustration follows.

  • Next time: the expectation of difficulty is stronger.

This can become a learned, automatic response — not a personal failure.

The Performance Anxiety Loop

We work to:

  • Reduce the subconscious “alarm response” around intimacy

  • Break old associations (sex = pressure/risk / judgement)

  • Install calmer, steadier expectations and self-talk

  • Rebuild confidence after a setback (so it doesn't become a story)

  • Strengthen present-moment focus and body trust

  • Future pace calm responses in real-life situations

How Hypnotherapy Helps Performance Anxiety

Sessions are respectful and structured:

  • Identify triggers (timing, expectations, relationship dynamics, stress, fatigue)

  • Remove unhelpful pressure-thinking and catastrophic predictions

  • Build confidence anchors and “reset” tools for the moment

  • Hypnosis to make calm automatic rather than forced

  • Optional partner-support session if helpful

 

Integrated support (optional): Nutritional Therapy

Alongside my work as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I’m also a Nutritional Therapist. Where it’s helpful, we can support the mindset and nervous system patterns <em>and</em> the practical foundations that influence stress resilience, sleep, and steady energy — so changes feel easier to hold in day-to-day life.

A Calm, Practical Approach (No Awkwardness)

The subconscious mind is a powerful engine of imagery. However, sometimes that imagery can become a source of distress, shame, or distraction.

Whether you are struggling with compulsive fantasies that prevent real-world intimacy, or you are plagued by "intrusive thoughts" that align with your moral values, hypnotherapy provides a neutral, judgment-free space to regain control.

Distinguishing the Issues

I work with clients to address three specific categories regarding fantasies:

  • Intrusive Thoughts (OCD-related): Unwanted, shocking, or distressing sexual images that "pop" into your mind against your will. We work to desensitise the emotional reaction so these thoughts lose their power and fade away.

  • Compulsive Fantasies: When reliance on a specific fantasy or pornography usage begins to block your ability to connect with a real partner or function in daily life.

  • Shame & Guilt: Deep-seated shame regarding unusual but consensual desires. If a fantasy is harmless but you carry heavy guilt, we work on self-acceptance and separating "thought" from "action."

 

How Hypnotherapy Works for Fantasies

We do not use suppression (trying to "force" a thought away usually makes it stronger). Instead, we use specific NLP and hypnotic techniques to change how your brain processes the imagery.

  • Submodality Shifts (The "Dimmer Switch"): Every fantasy has qualities—size, brightness, volume, and distance. Using NLP, we can mentally "shrink" unwanted imagery, turn it black and white, or push it into the distance, instantly reducing its emotional grip on you.
  • Dissociation Techniques: We train your mind to view these thoughts like a movie on a screen rather than an immersive experience. This allows you to observe the thought without the physiological arousal or panic response.
  •  

  • The "SWISH" Technique: An NLP method where we replace a compulsive trigger image with a new, healthy self-image. This literally rewires the neural pathway, so the urge to indulge in a compulsive fantasy is automatically redirected to a feeling of calm control.

 

"Your thoughts are not commands. Through hypnotherapy, you learn that you are the master of your mind, not a victim of its imagery."

 

Navigating Fantasies & Intrusive Thoughts

The most powerful sexual organ is not the body—it is the mind. However, stress, fatigue, or deep-seated inhibition can dampen our ability to access our imagination, leaving our libido feeling "offline."

At Paul Matthews Hypnotherapy, I help clients use the natural power of the subconscious to "improve" their fantasies—making them more vivid, accessible, and enjoyable to jumpstart the body’s physical response.

How Hypnotherapy Enhances Fantasy

1. "Turning Up the Dials" (Sensory Amplification) Using NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), we look at how you visualise. Often, when libido is low, our mental images are dim, distant, or black-and-white.

We can consciously "edit" these submodalities—making the mental imagery brighter, closer, and more colourful. By engaging all the senses (Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic) in a trance state, we can turn a fleeting thought into a powerful, immersive experience that triggers a genuine physical response.

2. Removing the "Inner Censor" Many of us subconsciously "block" our own fantasies before they even fully form, usually due to lingering shame, religious conditioning, or a feeling of "silliness." Hypnotherapy helps to dissolve this inner judge. We work to install a sense of permission—allowing you to accept your private thoughts as a healthy, safe, and normal part of your sexuality. When the guilt is removed, the imagination flows freely again.

3. The Bridge to Reality For clients dealing with low desire in a relationship, fantasy acts as a safe "rehearsal space." By associating positive, arousing feelings with your partner in your mind first, we prime the nervous system to be more responsive when you are physically together.

 

"Fantasy is the spark plug of the libido. We simply clean the connections to get the engine firing again."

Revitalising Libido Through Healthy Fantasy

Sexual performance anxiety is rarely “just in your head”. It’s often a whole-system response — pressure builds, the mind starts monitoring, the nervous system shifts into fight/flight, and the body becomes less responsive. When that happens repeatedly, confidence drops, and the fear of it happening again becomes part of the pattern.

Alongside my work as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I'm also a Nutritional Therapist. That means we can take a more complete approach: supporting the subconscious patterns that drive the pressure loop, while also strengthening the everyday foundations that help your mind and body feel steadier.

Why nutrition can matter for anxiety and confidence

When stress is high, people often experience some combination of poor sleep, fatigue, low mood, irritability, brain fog, or feeling “wired but tired”. These don't cause performance anxiety on their own — but they can increase vulnerability to it by making the nervous system more reactive and the mind more prone to worry and self-monitoring.

Nutritional therapy support can help you create more stability in areas that often influence:

  • Stress resilience (feeling less reactive under pressure)

  • Energy and mood stability (fewer spikes/crashes)

  • Sleep quality (switching off more easily and sleeping more deeply)

  • Confidence and self-trust (feeling steadier in yourself day to day) 

 

What this looks like in practice

This is not a rigid diet plan, and it's not about perfection. It's practical, realistic support that fits your life.

Depending on your needs, we may include:

  • Simple nutrition foundations that support steadier energy and focus

  • Habits that make it easier to unwind and sleep well (especially if you feel “tired but alert”)

  • Stress-support routines that reinforce the changes we create in hypnosis

  • A personalised, non-judgemental approach that supports your goals without adding pressure

 

You can choose how integrated you want this to be

Some clients want hypnotherapy only — that's completely fine and often highly effective. Others prefer a more integrated approach where we support both the mindset/nervous system patterns and the day-to-day foundations that help calm confidence hold over time.

Either way, the goal is the same: less pressure, more presence, and a steadier sense of control.

Online sessions only (Google Meet) — private, secure, and discreet from your own home. Serving clients worldwide.

Integrated Support: Hypnotherapy +

Nutritional Therapy

If there may be medical contributors (hormonal, blood flow, medication effects, pain), it’s always wise to speak with your GP. Hypnotherapy complements medical care and focuses on the psychological pressure cycle.

Important: Rule Out Physical Contributors

All sessions are private, confidential, and conducted via secure Google Meet. Your transformation takes place in the comfort and privacy of your own home.

Frequently Asked Questions

If you’re considering hypnotherapy for performance anxiety, it’s completely normal to have questions — especially when the topic is personal. The FAQs here cover what hypnosis feels like, confidentiality, how online sessions work, and what you can expect from the process. If you don’t see your question, you’re welcome to ask it during your confidential discovery call.

If you don’t see your question here, or if you simply want to talk things through, you are always welcome to reach out. You don’t have to figure this out alone—I am here to help you take the next step whenever you feel ready.

📧 Email: paul@paulmatthewshypnosis.ie

📱 WhatsApp: Chat with me on WhatsApp

 

 

Will online sessions work for something this personal?

Yes — and many clients prefer it. Online support via Google Meet is private, discreet, and often easier for people to relax into because you’re in your own space. You don’t need to share explicit details for the work to be effective.

Sessions focus on the patterns that drive performance anxiety (pressure, fear of failure, self-monitoring, loss of confidence), and we reinforce progress with practical tools you can use in real life.

Can my partner be involved?

Yes, if you want. Many people prefer to start one-to-one first, and then (where appropriate) include a partner for a supportive session. This can reduce pressure, improve understanding, and shift the focus away from “performance” and towards safety and connection. Partner involvement is always your choice — and we keep it calm, respectful, and practical.

What if this only happens with a partner, but not when I’m alone?

That’s very common, and it often points to pressure, expectation, self-monitoring, or worry about being judged. When a partner is involved, the mind can slip into “performance mode” rather than “connection mode”, which increases tension and reduces natural responsiveness. In sessions we work on calming the nervous system response, reducing mental monitoring, and building a steadier sense of safety and confidence so intimacy feels more natural, present, and connected.

Can hypnotherapy help if I struggle with erections sometimes?

Yes, especially when anxiety, pressure, overthinking, or fear of it happening again is part of the picture. Performance anxiety can trigger a stress response in the nervous system, and that “alert mode” can interfere with natural arousal and confidence. If the issue is new, persistent, painful, or worrying, it’s always appropriate to check in with your GP.

Hypnotherapy is best viewed as confidential support for the psychological pressure loop and the nervous system response that can maintain the problem.

Do I need to talk about explicit sexual details?

No. We can work with patterns, triggers, beliefs, and goals without going into explicit detail. You choose what you share, and sessions are paced to your comfort.

Will I be “out of control” in hypnosis?

No. You remain aware and in control throughout. Hypnosis is a focused, deeply relaxed state that helps reduce internal pressure and reinforce helpful changes.

Related Support

Online sessions only (Google Meet) — private, secure, and discreet from your own home. Serving clients worldwide.

Based in Dublin, providing confidential online hypnotherapy worldwide via Google Meet.

20+ Years Experience | Fully Insured | Online Worldwide

Book Your Free No Obligation Discovery Call

Performance anxiety can feel like a cruel cycle: the more you want it to go well, the more pressure builds. Then your mind starts monitoring everything — sensations, reactions, timing, “am I okay?” — and the nervous system shifts into alert mode. That’s when confidence drops and the fear of it happening again gets stronger.

Start with a confidential consultation

In this short, private online discovery call, we'll keep things calm and comfortable. You won't be pushed to share anything you're not ready to share.

  • Clarify what's been happening and what you want instead

  • Identify the triggers and patterns maintaining the pressure loop

  • Explain how online sessions work (Google Meet)

  • Map a practical plan to help you feel calmer, more present, and more confident

 

Optional extra support: Nutritional Therapy

Because I’m also a Nutritional Therapist, you can choose a more rounded approach if you want it — supporting sleep, energy, and stress resilience alongside the hypnotherapy work. No strict rules, no perfection — just simple, realistic support that helps the change hold in day-to-day life.

Book your confidential consultation here:

Break the Pressure Loop — Calm Confidence Can Be Rebuilt

  • Based in Dublin, providing confidential online hypnotherapy worldwide via Google Meet.

  • Clinical Hypnotherapist & Nutritional

  • Therapist specialising in PTSD, anxiety, addictions, and medical hypnotherapy for pain & IBS.

  • Mission: help 20,000 people reclaim calm, confidence, and control with structured, outcome-tracked programmes.

Paul Matthews Hypnotherapy

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